I'm so sick;

Sometimes. I'd wonder;

Do I, have to get permission, before I yell, scream, or LASH OUT, just because I want to?!

I'm so sick, and tired of being UNWELL.

I DONT WANT TO BE SICK ANYMORE.

I'm sick of all the friggin porridge which I have to swallow;

Of the bland and tasteless fish soup;

Of the fucking toasts.

Yes, I've sweared.

I know, it's bad; YES it's BAD;

TRUST ME, I KNOW.

I sing praises to Jesus, and I use language like that.

But can I just; lose control for ONCE;

I've never felt the need to express myself like THAT; on my blog before.

It may be the combination of stress and whatnots;

But, right now; I'm craving for ANYTHING delicious. Anything sweet.

And more than that;

I'm aching for your, understanding; patience, and love.

Right now, I really, feel like a million miles away.

And I don't know the right words to tell you.
how much, I really miss you.

**Esther, you were absolutely wonderful, helping me through this; and I don't blame you, for force feeding me with those stuff; I hope you understand, I JUST, need to, get this out of me before I start crying in the bath or something.